Many people are optimistic to the 21st century and see it is an opportunity to make positive changes to the world. To what extend do you agree or disagree with their optimistic ? What changes would you like to be made in the new century?

The 21st century is coming , （在2000年的时候世界就已经进入到了21世纪，今年已经是2005年，这句话的结构虽然没有错，但其语意显然是不对的。这样的句子出现在文章中会使文章大打折扣的。）many people are optimistic to believe it is an opportunity to make positive changes to the world. I （去掉，agree with是本句的谓语动词） deeply agree with the view because the 21st century is a new era to us, we can do many things to change it wonderful.（可以有如下几种选择：change it wonderfully； change it into wonder; change it into a wonderful world. “wonderful”是形容词，不能修饰动词“change”，但可以修饰名词。“wonderfully”是副词，可以修饰动词“change”.）

First of all, the technologies is (主谓不一致，而且technology这个词一般为不可数名词) developing quickly in the 21st century. It give （第三人称单数要改为gives） people an opportunity to change the world so that people use their own intelligence and creative power made （to make, 动词不定式表目的）a large number of miracles. The world is getting more and more colorful. Many positive changes made by people to the world is （are,主语是Many positive changes）easy to find out around us such as the use of computers. ( 此句不错，句子虽长，但句子结构清晰层次分明，被动语态的使用及不定式作定语都把握地相当准确。若是主谓语动词能够使用正确就更好了。) People use computers to control wild farms, all kinds of crops and vegetables grow well although only three or four people take care of them; people use computers to product goods （+with good qualities，表伴随）in big factories, it is good quality (去掉) and save time （改为：and it can save a lot of time through this way）; people use computers to study at home who can gets （get, 情态动词后要接动词原型）a large number of informations （去掉“s”, information不可数） （“获得信息”可以有以下几种表达法：acquisition of information；obtain information；gather information… 这些都比get information更加地道） and many useful knowledges （去掉“s”, knowledge不可数,只有表示各种各样的知识时可以用复数）on the web. (这句话是否体现了主题值得推敲！这句话即不能反应出人们对于21世纪所持的乐观态度，也不能反应人类对于世界的改变。因此这句话用在本文显得很牵强。) All these changes took place in recent years which is （was, 前文用took，时态一致。英语句子变化最多的是动词，要注意动词的使用规律）down （done）by people.

Even though （去掉）there are so many positive changes made by people in the 21st century, however, there are still many things should be changed by people. For example, the changes of transports bring us many benefits. But which is also lead to （it also leads to）air pollution. The air quality in Beijing is terrible because of (去掉，because后接从句；because of 后接名词) many cars run on the road is know by everyone （It is known to everyone that the air quality in Beijing is terrible because… ）. So I hope someone is able (+to, be able to do) change (改为improve更加贴切) the car pollution by discover （+ing）new pollute-free energy.

Generally speaking, the 21st century bring people an opportunity and people is optimistic to change the world. Let us catch (seize，抓住机遇：seize the opportunity)the opportunity and do more positive changes to （+the）world!

得分：5-

总评：
1．语言表达基本清楚，能够较清楚地阐明自己的观点，文章层次结构较为分明。
2．文章不够切题。本文的关键是要写出人们对21世纪所持的乐观态度以及改造这个世界有哪些机遇。而文章的论述几乎都是蜻蜓点水，一带而过，不够深入，使读者阅读后较难体会到作者的思想。
3．作文中的语法错误较为严重，尤其是基本语法的错误非常影响作文的总体分数。

建议：
1．英语的固定搭配可以从阅读中积累。
2．作文完成后最好检查一下，尤其是语法部分。例如，单复数，时态一致等。
3．鉴于1月22日就要参加考试，若没有时间看报也可以利用有限的时间自己多思考一下当今社会的热点问题，对于赞同或不赞同的事物自己要有一个较为清晰的脉络，这样在写作时就能够有的放矢，游刃有余。