Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve traffic and pollution. What extend do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think more effective?

In Modern society, wheels play a significant role in our daily life. There are a large numbers of wheels with the rapid development of motorcar’s industry in recent years. Meanwhile, it brought a heavy pressure for the public traffic and a lot of negative impacts to our environment. How to solve this problem? Someone suggests that use the way of increasing the price of petrol to decrease the usage of vehicles. Personally, I think it’s not enough. （ ）

The large quantity of wheels is a big problem we have to face, and reduce the quantity is the first step we should take. Most of people might realize that there are quite numbers of private cars account for a big part of social vehicles. In these years, both of （去掉，both…and…） governments and local public sectors have raised a proposal that encouraging more people to take public transportation while outing. And the departments have made a lot of efforts to improve the transport facilities, such as the development of public buses and undergrounds. Before 2008, it will be built an advanced transport system covered (covering,这里是主动的意义，所以选用“ing”形式) all the city of Beijing （ 自相矛盾！北京是中国的一个城市，这里可以改为“all the cities of China”或“all the districts of Beijing”，由于2008年的奥运会在北京举行，所以应选用后者，表示“覆盖了北京的各个城区”）. Comparing Japan, the nearest developed country to us, where （which，这里要表示的是日本这个国家而非日本那片地方）have (has) a rapid and advanced transportation system that can be extended in all directions that decreases a lot of charges for the traffic and environment. （"decreases charges for environment” 此处欠妥，搭配不当。建议改为：decreases a lot of charges for the traffic and for the pollution of the environment。这样改后句意明确，不会产生歧义）This way is also used widely in lots of countries all of world.（all over the world; throughout the world；the whole world更加地道）

Furthermore, people should establish high sense of social public morality. We do not live in the society alone. It needs everyone to make contribution to the surrounding we lived （live in, “live in”：居住。即便在句末，小介词也不能丢; “lived”不定式表示被动）. For the traffic problems, reducing the use of car in rush hours and building good behavior as a driver, all of these will be good at the traffic jam to be avoided. ( 这样写要表达什么意思？“will control the traffic jam perfectly”,这样表达简明扼要，语言更加地道)

We are willing to live in a well-ordered and less-polluted environment. To achieve this goal, we still have a great distance to cover.

得分：
6分

总评：
1． 开篇点题，明确提出自己的观点以便后文的论述。思路清晰，语言表达准确。语句流畅，琅琅上口，文章一气呵成，词汇运用也较为准确，是篇不错的作文。尤其文章的第一段是引人入胜的关键。
2． 语法掌握得不错，但应更加注意细微之处，从而更能体现出作者的英语水平。
建议：
1． 本文若能对于交通和环境的解决提出更加独到的见解，再加以较为深入的阐述便能增加文章的专业化程度，显现出作者运用英语的实力，从而得到更高的分数。
2． 若能够再扩展一下文章的词汇量并加以准确的运用，相信本文还是可以得到7分的。